there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
