Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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