If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
