Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
