so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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