Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
