so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
