hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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