nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize