I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
