You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
