yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
