He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
