Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
