; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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