We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
