That's when you crack a 10am beer
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
