Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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