I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
