I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
is it fun? or sober?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
