I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
