its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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