whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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