she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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