One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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