yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize