butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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