And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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