Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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