She's JV to your varsity
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
