Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
