Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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