in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
