So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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