I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
