...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Randomize