Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i came on her dog
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
