where am i from again
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
