watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
