Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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