I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
