Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
