you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
