there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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