Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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