i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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