oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
