were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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