Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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