High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
