I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
