I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize