i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
How does one acquire holy water?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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