dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
