So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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