from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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